A funny story about friends looking for some good time at a strip club
(RL story by “Alex”)
This happened a few years ago. My wife decided I deserved a good birthday party. So she arranged a club for me and 30 friends, to have some good time. And what a night it was...
The evening was great - people were talking, dancing, having fun. The music system was left to us, so we dictated it throughout the whole evening! Everybody was enjoying themselves!
As the night moved on, my wife came over to me... "Remember that time I asked you to take me to a strip club? How about we do it now?"
My smile grew! - "Sure… it will be fun!"
So a group was gathered - 7 guys and my wife.
We set foot on to the 15 minute walk towards the strip club. It was a bit cold, but we were all laughing, drunk and hyped from what was about to come. The problem was… that very same day… was Easter. And there was a church on our route, which we did not consider...
As we went around the corner, there was this mass of 400 people in front of the church, all standing, each holding a lit candle, chanting whatever you chant at Easter, sending this vibe in the air, like at any moment an angel will descend from the sky to punish people who want to enjoy tits and ass or pineapple pizza.
We stopped. People to the left… people to the right… no way around. We need to go through the crowd. It will be dangerous. As an atheist, I took a deep breath and said “Fuck it, lets go”...
We made our way, excusing ourselves as we politely shuffled people around. But divine fear crept on us. We had to get out of this fast!
And then it hit, as one of my friends broke, like that guy from a movie that is about to panic and die first - "I can’t do this. This is wrong!"
"What the f... are you talking about?" I said silently, trying to avoid the attention of the mass.
"I don’t believe in god, but I fear him!"
"Dude… it doesn’t work that way. Plus, I’ve seen you lick whipped cream off the tits of a stripper, at a bachelor party. You're already gonna burn for your vices." I said smiling, thinking it will make him laugh.
"This is not helping me! I can’t do it! Bye!..."
"Dude! You serious?!…"
And with this, we lost him… the divine holiday was slowly dissolving our adventure. But I wasn't going to lose it! And for the rest of the trip I kept the sanity of my other friends, as their motivation was getting shaky, thinking more about hell than sexy girls.
Finally, we reached the strip club - classy place. But as I've been in it before, I knew it was pretty chill and we are set for some good time. On top of that, bringing someone who has never been to such places, preps the night for blushes and laughter.
We took off our coats and went down the stairs into the underground club, to find it… empty of people. Just two strippers, looking bored in dresses. O...K… We sat down and I asked the hostess "Don’t tell me you have just those two girls tonight?"
"It’s Easter… most of the girls are at home painting eggs."
"We have eggs here that want to be painted with lipstick!"
She smiled and gave me a look as if telling me "You know the rules wink".
Yes. The rules. Girls only drop the bra and you have to be nice and respectful. The pleasant atmosphere is what made this place so chill and open for everyone.
My brother, one of the members of our group, took one of the strippers by the hand - “I like her! See you guys later”.
I looked at my wife - she seemed happy being in this place, even though there is just one stripper left.
"You like her?" I asked. She nodded enthusiastically. I leaned over to the stripper, gave her some money. She took the hand of my soulmate, disappearing into a booth. Should I have paid more to watch? Naaaah, it’s her time.
We are now left at our table, a few guys in a strip club with no strippers… naturally we talked bullshit, laughed, but it was not enough. So one of the drunk friends pulled out his phone and showed naked pics of his ex-girlfriend, in a number of... compromising positions.
"Dude, we know her. It’s not cool. Show some respect!" I protested.
"We need naked girls in here, so I thought it would help."
"Ohmyfuckinggod" I put my face in my hands.
This is getting out of control! I need to do something fast or the night will be ruined.
I messaged one of my cop friends at 1:00 am, knowing that he doesn’t sleep. Where can we find strippers on Easter eve? He sent me the address of this place, a mafia owned brothel. And you can pick and fuck there!
The rabbit hole goes deeper…
My brother returned with a happy smirk - “I’m out of money. But it was worth it!” - even without much sexual interaction, girls here really knew how to relax you. That's why it was the most popular club of its kind in town.
...My wife returned...
"So?" I asked curiously.
"We talked. I loved it."
"Talked... that's nice! What about her tits - your face?"
"Yes, we did that." she rolled her eyes smiling, like she was a bit ashamed to admit. "And we also talked. She said people don’t respect her profession."
"She definitely figured you out! You loved it - that’s what's important! Let’s pay here and move to another place I just got recommended. It’s close by, about a six minute walk."
And so, a few minutes later, the fellowship of …lust... went into this dark alley, where at the end of it, there was a door and four huge guys with no necks. They were looking at us, like we were about to jump and beat them, when in fact I knew we were all a bit scared, but no one wanted to admit it.
"Good evening!" - I said in my polite tone.
"She can’t enter." - This heavy guy said, looking at my wife.
"There are enough girls downstairs to keep you entertained."
"She is my wife. It's my birthday. And these guys are all with me, so if she doesn’t enter, we all don’t enter."
He looked at us all again… "Alright! Go in. Have fun."
As we descended downstairs we joked about bad customer service. Female discrimination at the work place. Badly lit entrance to a building. So unprofessional. We should call the cops on these guys... But finally, we were in!
Imagine every mafia owned strip club from every movie about gangsters that you've ever watched. Darkness on the tables. Lights on the stage. Mirrors behind the girls on the stage. Mirrors below them. Mirrors above them. Poles. Trap music. A few guys sitting under the poles with a beer, looking up.
And the girls? The most clothing you can see on them are heels, stockings, maybe thongs and … that’s it. And so many girls...
The accountant - sexy, long hair, blonde chick with glasses and big tits.
The biker girl - Long black hair with a upside down cross tattoo between her tits. Why??
The hypocrite chick - short black hair, choker, acting all shy and naughty. Right…
The cute short chick - short black hair, slim, not much tits, but god damn did she knew how to climb that pole and shake her ass.
The meow kitty - redhead, with a tiara with cat ears. Cute! Maybe she had a tail backstage?
This place was devoid of anything spiritual. You could not tell it was Easter in here!
Anyway, we walked towards our table, but something was not right. I turned around and saw my wife standing right in front of the stage, her eyes wide open, looking up at the stripper that’s dancing in her face, opening her legs. The girl leaned over and slid a finger on my wife's neck, teasing her before going up the pole again.
"Honey, it’s not polite to stare at other girls' intimate parts… this close." - I put my hand on her shoulder.
"She…. she is completely naked… I can see… EVERYTHING!" - she said while being hypnotized.
"Yes, and the whole club is watching you. How about we sit down before you start to drool on yourself…"
I pulled her over to our table and opened the menu for drinks… We already had too much alcohol, but you can never have too much alcohol, right? Ordered some… hey, what’s this? We started going over the back side of the menu, looking at each other after every line and making silly comments:
- *Half an hour* - $$
Interesting… is that what I think it is?
- *1 hour* - $$$
- *2 hours* - $$$
- *Dildo show* - $$$
These people seem open minded.
- *Shower Show* - $$$
Their marketing department knows their customers.
As we read through, we realised we had already lost 2 friends to the strippers in the back rooms. Every 5 minutes a different girl took the main stage, entering with very little clothing and leaving it with nothing. I looked to my wife...
"You wanna talk *cough*... cuddle with one of them again?"
"No… I’m just going to sit here and watch. This is too much for me for one night. But you go. Have fun!" - she was probably a bit scared as this place was no joke. It definitely had a much darker vibe than the one we were in earlier.
"Alright! I really like the way that girl shakes her ass." I stood up.
My hand got grabbed… - "Don’t… lick... anything!"
My eyes looking deep into hers... - "I’ll try"
I approached the short chick and asked her for a private dance. We entered her room - small with mirrors, cushy corner sofa. Got comfy. She undressed fast and got on top of me on the sofa. Body pushed against mine, pussy grinding on my bulge. Wrapped her hands around my back, and went up and down… up and down…
"I was going to ask if I can touch, but you are not leaving me any room." I said.
"Oh yes yes, touch as much as you like." - apparently the rules here were... a bit different... Much more different!
I put my hands on her hips. Moving them up her back… down to her ass. Those tits... nice tight body… this girl probably worked out hard!
I could fuck her. Easy to pick her up, her legs wrapped around me...nail her standing… that 1 hour thing wasn’t expensive… wonder how rude it would be to my wife, if I bang this girl here, while she is out there…
My breathing picked up… cock wants out, pushing through the flimsy fabric on her pussy… she smiled… knew she was doing a good job... I wanna fuck this ch...
"What astrological sign are you?" - she suddenly asked. My thoughts were cut by the most unsexy question you can ask a rational thinking human being.
"Taurus." - I said calmly , trying to refocus on the positives and negatives of doing her right here, right now.
"April or May?" she continued.
"Oh my! Happy Birthday!"
She leaned over to my ear, while moving her hand down on my bulge and rubbing it as she whispered… "I wish you… all… the love… in the world!"
Finally, we are back on track…
She slowed down, pushed her tits in my face. My hands were on her ass, feeling great. I’m waiting for her to say “wanna fuck me?” and I’m pulling out the cash…
"My sign is Virgo!" - she dropped out of nowhere!
"I BET it is!" I say, seemingly getting annoyed.
"You don’t seem to care though."
Unlike her colleagues from the previous club, she had failed to get me talking. Ask me why am in the club with my wife... what are we looking for? Don't try me with the standard phrases. This astrological thing is a huge turn off for me...
I decided to bring her attention to what initially cought my eye on her - "Yeah, you know what? I really liked how you shake your ass on the stage. How about you turn around and do that for me?"
Her smile dropped. She realized she had failed reaching in me. That thin line between the emotional and physical connection was nowhere to be seen. But, maybe this was the way for me, making me a happy client?
She turned around, bent over, back arched, legs spread around me. Her ass in my face, shaking it like I’m already in it. Me? Brain starts to melt… my hands on her back… SHE IS AMAZING...grabbed her ass, squeezed it hard. I wanna lick her and just stick my cock inside, making her moan with pleasure!
But it was too late...
Regret kicks in… I’m not that cruel...
I lifted her and placed her to the side - "I need to go drink some more." - I excused myself politely.
She picked her stuff and started dressing with what little clothes she had, looking at me smiling and saying "Maybe next time I'll captivate your mind"
"Maybe..." I smiled at her, as I left the room.
My wife was sitting alone, watching the stage. All the boys seemed to have abandoned her, as each was with a girl somewhere around the club. She looked at me, happy to see me, big cute eyes like a kitty:
"How was it?"
"She was unexperienced." I said annoyed.
"Did you lick her?"
"Wanna take me home and lick me?"
I looked at her with a slight smile...
"God… you know exactly what and when to say. If you were a stripper here, you would make a lot of money."
"You wish! Let’s go!" : )