EF Novella CHAPTER 11

EF Novella Nov 10, 2021

This is a Threat

Fleeing the scorching sun, I ease my car into Discordia Hotel's parking lot, its subterranean maw providing immediate relief from the heat.

"Climate change is super cereal you guys..." I mutter to no one in particular, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel as I gently glide Christine into her designated parking spot, before making my way out and towards the elevators.


A slight flinch. My fists clench and unclench. Little Winston awakens.

The bell never disappoints...

Stepping gratefully into the air-conditioned elevator, I jab at a button with the number "3" on it, and the doors begin to close.

...and because that's how the story goes, a voice pierces through the quiet noises of the elevator:


...and so the door was held. For a lovely, fun-sized, pocket battleship of adorableness.

Though you can't quite know that just yet, as Alis' body was largely obscured by the comically large (relatively) suitcases and travel bags she was struggling to carry all at once.

Instead of helping her with her luggage, I merely reached down and up, scooping her and her baggage like a strange bunch of leather grapes, letting the doors close on their own to set us off on our way.

"H-hey! Let go! I'm not THAT small you MEANIE! Why do you have to make me so comically tiny in this story for?!"

Taking several handbags to the side of the head with grace, I simply smiled broadly and crushed Alis in a tight hug, burying my face in her lovely red locks.

The words "Welcome home, Alis" may or may not have been whispered during the embrace. I'm not quite sure. It's quite hard to remember events when you're being slapped around the head by a pretty Dutch cutiepie.

The sun makes its presence known as the elevator breaks through ground level. The elevator's shell of black glass becoming transparent as it makes contact with the harsh light of the sun, blocking out the worst of the heat while also affording us a spectacular view of EroFights City.

"Hmph," Alis huffed as she's finally put down on her feet. . Her arms would have been folded if they weren't full of bags.

"So... good vacation?" I ventured. Her thunderous expression immediately made way for a happy, contented smile.

"Yes! I have soooo many pictures to show you once I've settled back in... but tell me, how has everyone been keeping?"

A weak smile. "Well, I just came back from the hospital... I was visiting Clara and some others... seems like a lot of people have been checked in for dehydration recently." I shrug. "It's the heat... and the... you know, strenuous activity..."

Alis wrinkled her nose and shook her head softly. "What it is... is people failing to hydrate! That'll change..."

The air seemed to go out of the elevator as our eyes meet.

"...you'll see."


The elevator doors open and Alis walks out into the hustle and bustle of General Chat, baggage and all.

"You coming?" her voice filtered through the mountain of bags as she turned around to face me.

Before I could say something clever to explain my change of heart, Alis gets tackled to the floor by a fast moving yellow blur of movement, sending her bags flying in all directions.

Shaking my head at Foxy's obligatory greeting, I let the elevator carry me to the 30th floor instead.

Some trade in past glories. Some live for today. My mind is always on the future. The far future of the year 40,000.

My father, Konrad Curze, once had a palace on a planet called Tsagualsa. He had within this house of horrors a gallery where humans were kept alive by the most arcane of technologies.

In this Screaming Gallery, humans were tortured to provide my father with the most intoxicating of screams and laments, a veritable symphony of suffering of writhing flesh, lining the walls, floor, and ceiling.

He would sit there, have a little drink, and smile.

Here, today, EroFights City keeps people alive through a different form of arcane technology. Here, all may experience pleasure, companionship, and love. And it floats up into the air of the upper floors of Discordia Hotel like a psychic, narcotic echo.

As the moans, groans and wet sounds of lewdness begin to filter through the elevator, the sounds seem to travel upward with me, growing in strength as I step foot in the black-marbled floor of the 30th floor.

Settling in my office, the skyline of EroFights City stood on one side, the wall of lustful moaning sound echoing up to the 30th floor on the other, I pour myself an iced coffee from a nearby jug, and allow myself this moment-

Something moved at the corner of my eye, where several screens of security footage can be seen. The surveillance camera catches the Girl's Dorm moving several levels up, before moving back down again.

Where was I... yes, this moment. This moment of intoxicating screams and moans, a veritable symphony of lust and writhing flesh, from floor to ceiling to the very walls - my very own Moaning Gallery.

I took a sip and leaned back as the soft echoes of lovemaking washed over me. A grim smile carves its way across my face.

Are you proud of me now, Father?

"This is the thirteenth case this week," I frown, looking down at the patient's engorged belly.

"What is going on here?" I round on Lili, demanding answers.

"Well, just like the twelve other cases, this seems to be a case of hyper-hydration. Like all other cases, they were found in the corridors of the 18th's floor of Discordia Hotel - the apartments."

Lili placed the patient's file back in its place, before looking at me.

"There's something else you should know."


Lili hesitated, fidgeted with her miniskirt that was part of the uniform of all EroFights nurses, and tried saying what she had to say without sounding ridiculous.

"Most of the patients mentioned a bear..."

My blank stare, presumably, did not help. She took a breath and tried again.

"They said that a bear attacked them and..."

"Yes....?" I asked encouragingly.

"And... forced water down their throats..."

Blank stare.

"You're saying that there's a bear running around town forcing people to hydrate?"

"Come on," Lili pouted. "It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that!"

"Indeed, I can bearly believe what you've just told me," I said with a straight face.

"Get out," she laughed, slapping my shoulder playfully.

"You have a bear to catch."

"This will be grizzly."


Right into your mind...
Deja Vu!
I've just been in this place before...

"HIGHER ON THE STREET" I sang as loudly as I could as I blasted my way down the road, song on full blast.

And I know it's my time to go!


And the search is a mystery
Standing on my feet
It's so hard when I try to be me,


There was a method to this haphazard singing and driving. Just as my car was racing, Internally, my mind was too - piecing together what little I know in order to close in on this insidious creature terrorising EroFights City.

How? How could a fucking bear have done this right under my nose? It made little sense. Why would a bear even do such a thing? Force water into a person? What was the motive? Questions, questions, but no answers...

Christine roared down the Discordia Hotel's parking lot at speed, gliding effortlessly into its designated parking space with a screeching wail. My mind was going into overdrive, and before I knew it, I was in General Chat.

A blur of movement bursts from the long couches and straight at me. With no time to think, I reacted in the only way I knew how.

Neatly folding the rogue Kitsune up into a throw and laying him down forcefully on the floor behind me, all he could say was:

Not paying Foxy another glance (he had already got up to tackle another newcomer), I scan the massive common room that was General Chat in full swing. It was in fine form today, raucous conversation ran in all directions, colliding with each other and scattering everywhere, a massive social dog in pursuit of its own tail.

Dozens of EroFighters lounged on couches and chairs, chatting busily. As I approached and heard more of what was said however, my concern grew.

"Has anyone seen Clara today? She should have been here by now." Gabriela asked. Most present either shook their heads or speculated optimistically as to where she was.

"Maybe she's in a match?"

"Overtime at the gym?"

"Has anyone tried visiting her in her room?" I asked, already moving for the elevator.

I already knew the answer.

Touching a hidden panel on the side of the elevator, a camouflaged touchscreen comes to life. On it, I tap the numbers "-33".

The elevator sunk slowly into the depths of EroFights City.

When the doors next opened, it revealed a vast, Cathedral-like space, shelves lined the walls, floor-to-ceiling, carrying books, scrolls, and other ghastlier trophies - skulls, spines, and wicked weapons, for torture, for war, for both.

The machine-man in red robes looked up as I entered. Wordlessly, he turned his back to me, going deeper into the cavernous space, and I followed, entering a wide semicircle of candles, which lit up as I approached. In the illuminated gloom, the man returned. His voice booming and mechanical. A cart laden with pieces of armor dragging behind him.

Look to your battle gear and it will protect you.

"Sons of our Father, stand in Midnight Clad," I replied, closing my eyes and holding my hands out to be embraced by the ceramite.

As your armor guards your life...

"We bring the Night."

Honor the craft of death.

"Ave Dominus Nox."

For Mars. For the Warmaster.

I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly as tactical data flooded through my peripheral vision before slowly stabilising into a coherent heads-up display. Nodding brusquely to the red-robed adept, I stalked away, stopping only to retrieve my weapons from a shelf and to observe myself in a mirror.

Yeah. No goddamn bear is force-feeding me fluids of any kind today.

The elevator ride was quite an awkward affair. You try standing in an elevator in total silence with a 7-foot-tall genetically-enhanced super-soldier armed to the teeth, wearing bat wings and a skull helmet carrying a chainsword as large as your body.

Kinkshaming is a very shameful thing to commit in EroFights City, after all...


...a highly uncomfortable bodily reaction when encased in armor.

Stalking past several citizens going about their day, I walk up to Clara's apartment door, revving my chain sword menacingly, before opening the door - it was unlocked, and let myself in.

It was dark, but my helmet's night vision more than compensated, leaving my sight unimpeded. The apartment was a mess of mauled furniture and broken china. The destruction and chaos led to the bedroom.

Some distant muffled sounds and moans could be heard behind the door...

Either I was going to be very right, or I'm about to kick the door down on some seriously rough lovemaking...


A monstrous black bear bore down on Clara's sweaty, sweaty gym body (:smirk:) a large water bottle somehow balanced in its paws, the neck of it shoved down Clara's mouth, forcing water into her.

With a roar of outrage, I revved and raised the chainsword high, and brought it crashing down on the bear's head.


The chainsword's teeth merely glanced across its hide, turning the weapon aside. The beast was strong. No matter, I have faced even deadlier opponents and have triumphed. I was there on Terra, and a thousand battlefields before that. Steeling myself for a duel of the ages, I bunched up my muscles and swung aga-

A significant lump appeared on the bear's head, as it looked at me with hurt eyes.

Eyes that looked almost human as a single tear leaked out. The bear growled... and gradually shrank, the bestial sounds slowly making way for soft, sobbing noises as the bear's features slowly melded back into the familiar form of...

"Alis!" I mutter incredulously under my breath, the helmet magnifying and twisting the word into a threat.

"W-wh-whuhwuh-why did you hit me you MEANIE, I only wanted to get Clara to drink more water and hydrate! Why did you have to hit me so haaaaaard..."

Ignoring Alis' deluge of tears, I turn my gaze to Clara, who merely raised a thumbs-up, too hydrated to talk.

Feeling slightly overdressed in power armour, I slowly backed out of the bedroom.

Nobody talked about the Hydration Bear attacks of 2020 ever again.

Author's Notes

  1. One of the main points of compliments and criticism was the Warhammer 40,000 references of the first season. As a former moderator for one the communities of the hobby, I incorporated a lot of that in my stories. This will be the last time though.
  2. This chapter's opening theme is Dolphin In Town, which is about a person turning into a dolphin? Something like that.
  3. I've remarked a few times about how horny EF can be, and it was like my private Screaming Gallery but for lewds.
  4. Yes, I drive a Golf, and I sing Eurobeat songs aloud when driving. Deal with it.
  5. Don't ask about Girl's Dorm moving.
  6. I thought it would be amusing to have my character arm to the teeth and suggest a deadly fight to the death, only for things to end with a bonk.



I can typing :B