Dear Santa...
Greetings and Salutations, EF!
We hope you had a fantastic holiday and that your days are filled with love and festive cheer. And, of course, we hope that Santa brought you everything you wanted.
In regards to that, the community wrote Santa a letter. A rather... interesting one. Now, Santa is no stranger to odd and even occasional outlandish requests when he has the elves empty his sack to read all the letters he gets from across the globe. But this one... well, this one he sent back, with a personal note.
"Dear EF. I will be sure to bring every member the gifts they have asked for individually. But this group letter... either you were all immensely drunk or so overly lewd that I am not able to reasonably action this letter.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a wonderful new year to you all!
P.S.
T.G. I will ask the elves in the workshop to take a vote on who they think the sexiest elf is and have her sent to you on the 25th. But she's coming back home the day after, unless she hands me her notice as she leaves."
I must confess, I was baffled when I got this note. Before I had a chance to read it, there was a knock at my door. My Christmas present had come early, leading to me cumming a few times before the big day. She didn't stay, sadly. But she did promise to come to see me again on her one day off of the year, once she finds out when that is.
Still pondering what on earth the letter said, I dug it out of the pile of admin Winston keeps giving me and opened it up. And... people, were you trying to confuse the hell out of jolly old Saint Nick??
How bad could it have been? Well, let's sit and read it together. Now that I've finally been able to piece it together in a semi-coherent fashion...
Dear Santa,
Last Christmas, I gave you my
(Who sends Santa a pic of a bulge??)
If we ignore the bulge, which is easier said than done, the letter would read:
Last Christmas, I gave you my word that all year I would like shoes but you are not my favourite bunny baby. So bring a pallet of cider flavoured cake and gay coloured parrot, please?
Also remember nothing is true lies are everything.
Believe in myself others stink like gingerbread.
Yet everyone wants gifts.
So please don't drink and drive.
Sometimes I forget children stay home until tomorrow otherwise we can't go all out.
Madness. Madness? This would .... be devoid holiday cheer forever doomed without fancy Santa.
Shoog shoog shoog shnoog shoog.
Also no need to cry, Argentina for the Gondor ending Denethor said FUSRODAH Dovahkiin dragonborn the elders knew the prophecy required sacrifices.
Suddenly Alex grabbed my battleaxe and went to the... horse chestnut tree was decorated with shiny gems that sparkled touching my midden-mast was the funniest.
Anyway Wishlist! I desire pancakes covered in Mustard.
Finally I declare Christmas the best time of year because the grandma gifted the grandma so the grandma almost passed the grandma finally hugs.
My list may contain copius amounts of Trinitroluene and hugs and kisses!
However I am Grandma.
And Santa you, notwithstanding, are Not.
The one to become grandma husband mommy Santa.
What maniac decided the butter flavor.
The Reindeer tasted forbidden apple juice.
Spilled on huh???
Still cum isn't a choice for kids although chocolate is always alien.
Thanks for grandmas chocolate chip cookies that giggles bell.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WHO is Win-Win?
Where IS Win-Win
What is Win-Win
When did Win-Win start having seizures?
Monke is Win-Win??
Yes Daddy I very primal steak flying right towards Poland where naked guys play chess whilst shouting SHOOG.
This is SHOOG!
Furthermore SHOOG!
Although posthumous and wildly erotic sexual sexul declarations are prohibited indefinitely forever.
Unless Adi cums.
Anywhoozle, WISHLIST!
(Another one?? Come on, folks!!)
,Excuse me, where is the wishlist hidden? oh,
It seems that we won't find out that Winston is married to @lllusion and pokes the bear.
WISHLIST!
Headphones sexy smirks. I
moan groan and fart because beans in my bed.
Wait, is this real wishlist?
Gimme WISHLIST CHEESE Please!
This WISHLIST!
The police kicked the foxy and rubbed his bum with ice then ribbons !
Poof!
Moin did @Maverick???
Rather be WISHING good holidays to everyone and I hope foxy gets shoes with ribbon.
Here
is trashpanda wishlist for @Winston!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 He
needs it!
Kinky as the wishlist is overrated.
Sike.
They ejaculate wishes for a group cum bukkake or a WISHLIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also I want Switzerland burning the dead at Tiffany's.
Whislist WE wish for a big sack of Christmas toys for adults in my pants drawer.
A pack of condoms, and ropes, poptarts jerky, thermonuclear warheads, a deaf kitten and sixty kisses.
That would Rock!
My Pinata smells like beef stew and potatoes.
Santa -chan please give some peace and freedom for everyone that have penis envy latex what are we talking about Hmmmm?
Dear Gnome
NO!
For Halloween porn forbidden anywhere.
I drunk and drunk all drunk everyone drunk and Wishlist...
A Playstation sucks Xbox sucks Nintendo sucks so Windows sucks Sega
...
...
At this moment in time, I think we should sit down somewhere quiet and think about what it is that we have done. We're all on the naughty list as it is. If we keep this up, Santa is just going to send all our letters back without reading them.
Perhaps next year the letter will make more sense...
