Let's Talk About Consent.

Guides Oct 21, 2020

The author of the following blog post has requested that their identity remain anonymous.

After spending time in matchmaking, you want to get right into your EroFight. I don't blame you. The temptation is there. Without thinking about it, you might send off a message like "Sup, bitch?" or something to that effect. Seemingly harmless, but not always.

There is a time and place for name-calling, there is a time and place for humiliation, there is a time and place for feminization, there is a time and place for hardcore BDSM, there is a time and place for all those things. There is no kink-shaming here, just an awareness that not everyone shares the same kinks. And one should not engage in kink-shaming: there is no need to mock someone for something they like, or something they don't like.

When roleplaying, or playing a session as a sub or a dom, that needs to be considered. As they say, it takes two to tango. To make that dance work, the partners need to be in sync.

Take time to learn about your partner. Many users on EroFights have a profile describing themselves, their kinks and what they are (or aren't) into. This provides a baseline, and is an excellent starting point.

Looking beyond their profile, there is an art of asking. You should not be afraid of asking your partner about their kinks. You should ask what they're looking for, as well as be willing to share what you're looking for. You're both here to have a good time, and you can work together to accomplish this. This conversation can occur prior to the game: EroFights has an active Discord, and many users there welcome direct messages. There is also the messaging system directly on EroFights. You can get a good feel for your partner well before meeting them in Classic, Femdom with Caprice, or anywhere else you may match.

Just understand: not everyone is going to respond to your messages. Don't pester people, don't send message after message after message. If someone is not interested, leave it at that.

If you go straight to matchmaking, which is perfectly acceptable, you should take advantage of the game's chat feature. Talk it out. Even if their profile clearly labels them a sub or a dom, we're all different. People are generally here to have a good time, for escapism and relief. For some people, that most certainly involves being mocked and humiliated. It might even involve a bit of CBT, who knows? But remember, some is not all: some subs are seeking a more gentle dom, some are seeking instruction and orders, some are brats looking for a bit of funishment.

It all goes back to consent: mutual consent. EroFights is at its best when all involved reach that understanding. And it might take a few matches to figure out this understanding. That first roleplay with a person, it can be awkward. You're feeling each other out, trying to find out what they like and what they don't like, as they are with you. A little communication goes a long way.

As I'm sure everyone has once heard, no means no. Respect those limits, and we all have limits. We all have things we are not comfortable doing, and pressuring someone into doing something they don't want to is unacceptable.

Conversely, yes means yes. Silence is not consent. Consent is consent. This holds true on EroFights, where roleplay and chat plays a major role. Communication is a major part of the game here, perhaps moreso than the game itself. It's why we all prefer playing with another person, rather than a bot.

Saying this, one must acknowledge non-con. Even non-con has to be consensual, as strange as that may sound. EroFights allows for such thing, so long as a clear understanding is in place. As the Code of Conduct states, "Rape or beating fantasies can only be played in private and with total and clear consent from both ends."

"Total and clear consent" is something to strive for in all games. Go out there and a have good time, together.